Culled from Esquire Magazine

Men's Groups

by Scott Raab

As a man who was part of a weekly men's support group for many years, I found few topics that created more discomfort in other men than the subject of men's support groups.

The problem  isn't that men won't talk.  The problem is that all they talk about is the usual baloney.  And the stuff that troubles most men most -- how to handle office politics, how to weather a domestic blowup, how to do right by their kids--gets buried, if it's raised at all, under layers of ritual palaver about sports or sex.

In fact, the men I know best, including myself, trust and rely on themselves alone to work out the hardest stuff, and have come to define that very self-reliance as a key component of their success as men.  To talk about the struggle, the uncertainty, and the fear is not only a sign of weakness; to talk about such things--merely to admit to feeling them--feels like a kind of failure in itself.  Better, then, to say nothing.

That's a lonesome way to go brother.  The struggles, at home and on the job are universal, a necessary part of moving up in the world.  Every fighter needs a cornerman, someone who knows his strengths and weaknessess.  Any decent men's group will have one or two guys savvier than you, less crazy, with no ax to grind.  Likewise, there'll be members of the group who'll look to you for illumination.  A good group is an ongoing seminar with direct practical application and no downside.  Most are run by therapists.  

(Look online to start or here for information on upcoming mens meetings.)